A Certain Meteorological Hitman
by Vanilla Interlude
Summary: Weather reports will never be the same again.


It was a bright Saturday morning and birds chirped merrily in the crisp morning air.

Somewhere in Namimori, Japan, a certain protagonist cracked one eye open.

And screamed.

Sawada Tsunayoshi leaped up from his comfy bed, showcasing an astonishing display of propulsion that would not be possible in his non-shell-shocked state, realizing that it was already 1 pm and that his demon tutor Reborn was probably cocking a gun at his head to shoot him as punishment for not waking up early.

He braced himself for potential torture just as a piece of paper drifted off the cupboard and into his face. "Mmf! What the…." Tsuna peeled the paper off his face and was about to throw it into the depressing depths of the dustbin when he noticed some words on it.

"Dame-Tsuna," the paper read, "I won't be home today. You had better watch the weather report today or else. I'll know if you don't do so. After all, I am the world's greatest hitman. Your awesome tutor, Reborn."

Tsuna sighed in relief.

Thank heavens Reborn didn't pull him into some sort of monster training that would leave him half-dead.

Not that Reborn would care if he was dead; he'd probably dance on Tsuna's grave or use weird zombie powers to bring Tsuna back as a zombie and order him to become the 10th Generation Vongola Zombie Boss.

He'd better watch the weather report, or Reborn might just order him to run all around Namimori wearing just a pair of boxers in winter. Or at least something as heinous as that.

Time disappeared like warm brownies in a roomful of hungry teenagers and soon, it was time for the weather report.

Tsuna flopped onto the sofa, picked up the remote control and switched on the television. "Nothing much to watch." he thought as he watched the weather reporter open her mouth to speak.

And she closed it again.

"Nyahaha! She looks like a goldfish!" Lambo ran into the room, laughing and waving a chocolate bar.

"Lambo, no stealing!" I-pin sprinted into the room in pursuit of the little kleptomaniac, who had apparently stolen her chocolate.

"Shush! I'm trying to watch the news!" Tsuna chased after them, trying to get hold of them and keep them quiet.

He didn't even notice that the original newscaster had been knocked out with a familiar green hammer, and that the screen was blurred for a while, as a voice announced," There will be a change of newscaster due to certain problems."

Just then, Lambo glanced at the television and stopped dead in his tracks.

Of course, that's just a describing phrase, to the dismay of a silver-haired bomber in a perpetual state of what some would call the men's version of PMS.

"It's Reborn! It's Lambo-san's biggest enemy! Lambo-san's biggest enemy's on television!"

"Don't be silly! How would your face get on-" Tsuna's jaw dropped as he watched Reborn's face indeed appear on television.

"What…When did they change the newscaster? And… OF ALL PEOPLE, WHY IS IT REBORN?" he sputtered as he stared into the very familiar face of his demon tutor.

As if he knew that Tsuna was practically having a panic attack, the newscaster (Reborn) smirked. "This is Newscaster Rebocaster, and I will be bringing you today's weather report, Vongola style."

"VONGOLA STYLE?" Tsuna shrieked. Rebocaster cleared his throat, and picking up a sheaf of papers, began.

"For today's Vongola style weather report, there was a light drizzle of Takeshi Yamamoto."

Right on cue, a grinning Yamamoto's face popped up on the television screen and Tsuna turned pale.

"Don't tell me Reborn….. replaced the weather with the guardians' names?"

"….which quickly turned into a Hayato Gokudera along with Lambo. (A scene of both guardians fighting popped up)"

" Some grey 'Hibari Kyoya's (Hibari with a permanent scowl on his face came up)"

" were also drifting around, almost covering up the 'Sasagawa Ryohei' (A snapshot of Ryohei in boxing gear made its way into the screen)"

" that had begun to rise in the slight 'Chrome Dokuro and Mukuro Rokudo' (Two pineapples dyed purple and dark blue respectively appeared) that made its appearance during the mess in the…"

Here Reborn paused, and looked straight into the camera, signature smirk set on his face.

"Sawada Tsunayoshi!"

"NO! My life is officially over…" Tsuna literally sank into the ground and started burbling nonsense like "Reputation…school….bitten to death…..names on television….." when the phone rang.

"It couldn't get any worse than this…" Tsuna moaned and plodded over to the phone.

"Moshi moshi, Sawada residence, who are you looking for?" he mumbled.

"Tenth! Did you watch the weather report just now? Wasn't it fantastic?"

And that was just one of the many telephone calls Sawada Tsunayoshi received that day.

-Owari-

Author's Note: Edited. And the new site sucks. Whoopee.


End file.
